Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I need security and strength.
I need to communicate better.
I need to sharpen my intuition.
I need to get in touch with wisdom.
I need to let go of grief and anger.
I need to cleanse away my spirit of negativity.
I need to boost my self-esteem.

these are my needs.not wants.


***********************************************END********************************** :9:05 PM

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Sorry for the lack of updates.
I had not much time to, anymore.
I dont even have time to read any book.
I only end up sleeping whenever i tried to.

There will be days of tests ahead.
Which clearly means that i should not
linger infront of the computer any
longer than 3 or 4 times a week.
I wasnt in the mood to blog actually.
But i nonetheless did.
I dont wish to loose any of my
lovely readers.
However,i'll still post as i please.
So you can know what's my mood like
by judging my entries.

Anyhoo, tomorrow's racial harmony day.
Its going to be an interesting day
with interesting people
with interesting clothes.

I'll end here now.
I've yet to think of a new
title for my essay since
the title was unapproriate,
as the teacher said.
ok dah, i'll update when
time allows.

selamat malam.aku nak tido!


***********************************************END********************************** :10:10 PM

Sunday, July 17, 2005

i almost gave up upon making this time-killer template.
i'm still not satisfied with it though.
its obvious that i have too much time in my hand.
but too bad i'm never gonna spend it wisely.
i dont manage my time well.
i'm quite slow in everything i do.
i seldom have full concentration.
i'm blur, as always.
you may either believe or not believe this.
but hey, thats just me.

day 1 of baybeats was okay.
i had to endure the pain i had on my left leg.
its red and swollen.
oh-kay, i shall not whine any further.
i'm effing tired anyway.
but i have to complete my assignments first before crashing.
oh, thats a must.


***********************************************END********************************** :12:14 AM

Friday, July 15, 2005

i have tuition from 4 to 6.and i'll be meeting fathien at 6.30 for baybeats.i'll type in more later.ok i'm off to bathe.

***********************************************END********************************** :1:47 PM

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

jump off this cliff. it's safer at the bottom.
the depths of my mind are pitch black.
i can't breathe.i can't think.
the only person that can console me is buried at
the bottom of the ground.
I feel catching up inside me.
I think tonight is the night that my heart stops...no, i'm not weak.
i'll never be. but why? howcome there's tears?
without any apparent reason.
what's this suppose to mean??

i want out!!

***********************************************END********************************** :10:14 PM

Friday, July 08, 2005

My camera's back to square one.Yay.
So you'll be seeing me cam-whoring yet again!
but that'll be only appropriate when there's photoshop.

i decided to put my apathy about math aside.
no surprise that i'm no longer baffled
after covering both math and physics just now.
heh.today was just great.
goodnight. xp


***********************************************END********************************** :12:14 AM

Monday, July 04, 2005

i'm pretty much depressed i guess.

i dont know why.
i cant be in this state over nothing, right?
this weird feeling is just so sudden.
these horrible images kept on
appearing before my eyes.
whatever this is suppose to mean,
i don't need these shits alright.
i have made drastic changes in my life.
i'm done to reconstruct my
weakness through mistakes.
and i've grown to think better and maturely.
i'm just so sorry if i'm over-reacting.
its inevitably the way i'm feeling right now.
how i wish Hadi's right here beside me.
this need for someone to embrace me is so desperate.

***********************************************END********************************** :12:13 AM

Sunday, July 03, 2005

i have both my ears on juneau by f.f.a.f.
used to be my favourite.
and i think history's repeating itself now.
its funny how songs,
in terms of feelings,turn me into.
i feel somewhat insecure, lonely and sad.
and that,along with this weird feeling
i had since this evening
have actually made me cry.
i was reminded what i was labelled as.
a saddistic bitch was it.
i dont know how that person got that idea.
i dont know.
i really dont.

i was considering myself to go to the
rock fest earlier today.
but i didnt anyway.
coz i decided to stay home and help mom
with the house chores.

Now this is something i cant wait for. x)

***********************************************END********************************** :7:50 PM

Saturday, July 02, 2005


I was paid to take orders/serve
the food at dad's shop.
I enjoyed doing so.
I love last night cos the
people i worked with are all crazy.
I got ten bucks.
Okay la.
I don't mind doing it again.
In fact, i'm looking forward to it.
But i have to babysit Faris tonight.
So no, i won't be there working.

Lyrics : New american classic by Taking back sunday.


We've got to get better said, it's all in your head
We could live through these letters
or forget it all together
See the months they don't matter
it's the days i can't take
When the hours move to minutes
and i'm seconds away

Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care
Say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care
Say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing i can do nothing about

When all that we need is just a reaction
It's too much to ask for when there's
no attraction
If chasing our dreams was just a distraction
I'll want to remember when
i know that i can't go back

Just ask the question come
untie the knot
Say you won't care
Say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care
Say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing and i can do nothing
there's one thing and i can do nothing
there's one thing and i can do nothing about

Just ask the question come
untie the knot
Say you won't care
Say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care
Say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing and i can do nothing
there's one thing and i can do nothing
there's one thing and i can do nothing about

Don't blame me for relating to these words. *grins.


***********************************************END********************************** :2:46 PM

*hadi nisa diyana kal kin dil fathien syafiq hairul

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